Last Friday I signed you up for Kindergarten.
As we pulled up to the school you whispered to yourself in the back seat, “it’s so big”, and I literally felt my heart explode. As we walked toward the doors to go in, your little hand slipped into mine and I squeezed. You were nervous and I could tell, hell, I was nervous. I looked down at you and I saw two people. I saw my first everything, my baby boy. I also saw a little man, a little man stepping into a world of school, recess, sports and schedules. A little man growing away from the baby I still remember. I said our signature calm down cue, “deep breath kiddo” and we both closed our eyes and took a breath. Smell your flower, blow out your candle style, in through the nose, out through the mouth.
We walked through the lobby doors of your new school and I took a look around. It still smelled the same as when I went to elementary school years ago. Of paper, pencils, old lunch and fun. I loved school and I can’t wait for you to experience it. I know sometimes it’s going to be hard. Sometimes you’re going to feel uncertain, scared and, hopefully not, but maybe even unwanted by the kids you attend with. I will always be there to hold your hand, to take a deep breath, to love and support you forever.
I’ve spent so much time thinking about this step to school. I told you that you weren’t allowed to grow up anymore, that you and your sister had to stay this way forever. I wondered to myself if you were ready for this step. Had I prepared you enough to be ready?
We had talked about growing up a few days before kindergarten round-up. When I said you had to stop growing you said, “mommy, you know I can’t stop growing, you still have to feed me!” I smiled at your common sense.
We talked about how school was going to be and how you would make some wonderful friends. I remember you said, “I need to talk to everyone so they know who I am”. I smiled at your strength.
We talked about how sometimes other kids might not want to play with you and you said, “it’s ok mommy, I’ll still be kind to them when they change their mind”, I smiled at your kindness.
Finally, we talked about how big of a step this is. You said, “mommy, you know you can hold me no matter how big I get.” I smiled at your wisdom.
Kindergarten Kid, I know that you have the common sense, strength, kindness and wisdom to take this next step. I can’t wait to watch you spread your wings and fly into this adventure. I will always be there to hold your hand. Dream big dreams, learn everything you can learn and care for those who care for you. There is no limit to what you can do or how far you can go. Remember these things and you can be anything and anyone you want to be.
Take a deep breath kiddo (and Mama!), smell your flower and blow out your candle.
Here we go!